Why is it wise to follow the no contact rule after breakup with your ex? The answer is not a simple one but most of the time this rule is a good one whether you are wanting to get your ex back with you or not.
Why can the no contact rule help you get your ex back?
Regardless of the reason for your breakup, you should not appear desperate to reconcile with your ex. So if you are thinking about getting those thumbs busy texting your ex continually to see if he or she would meet you, don’t do it! Even if you believe you are at fault for the breakup, or even if you did the dumping, don’t call your ex and start apologizing or making any kind of promises. This can in truth be interpreted as your being controlling, or desperate, or maybe even emotionally unsound. This behavior might very well help convince your ex that the breakup should be permanent .
Another thing to consider is that maybe there is a truly valid reason why you broke up, and maybe it could be reconciled by working on some of your own issues for awhile. Believe it or not, if you start doing some things that will improve your own happiness or self worth then this could very well get noticed by your ex and your attempts to improve yourself will probably be quite attractive to your ex.
Yes, no one likes this rule because in the early stage of a breakup you will be in an emotional state and you will be spending most of your time trying to figure out how to mend the relationship. That is precisely why you must follow the no contact rule after breakup, and especially for the first few days or weeks until you are able to think with some clarity.
Why is the no contact rule after breakup a good one when you don’t want your ex back?
So maybe you don’t want your ex back after the breakup? Maybe you are thinking about some sort of revenge or retaliation? If it has only been a few days or couple weeks since your breakup then this might appeal to you and you might even think that this is a fair retaliation after all your ex put you through. But remember, your emotions could be influencing you right now and you don’t even realize it. You need to take some time and gather your thoughts.
There is another really great reason for abiding by the no contact rule after breakup when you think that you don’t want your ex back. What if you change your mind later? After the shock wears off and you can think again, you want to get back with your ex or at least give it a try. But let’s say you have previously taken revenge or said some things that you now feel bad about? It would be very wise to do nothing against your ex and concentrate on figuring your own life out for awhile and see how it goes.
So don’t call or text for now and start thinking about what makes you happy independent from your ex. Get out and enjoy life with friends so you can avoid getting lonely or depressed. Find some goals that can improve yourself like going back to school, joining a gym, or anything that keeps you motivated. If you want your ex back, this is the best approach for now even though this does not seem to make sense. Your ex will see that you are getting stronger and happier and if there is still something between you, then these characteristics will be very attractive .
You may or may not get back together with your ex. But you have the chance to be happy either way if you work on yourself and then just see what happens from there. This is much better than having your happiness be totally dependent upon the success or failure of a relationship.
You must log in to post a comment.