Why Grief After Breakup Is More Than A Broken Heart
Breaking up after being in a very close relationship can leave you with fears, guilt, a sense of loneliness and other emotions that can lead to a number of potentially crippling emotions including grief. A sad heart and damaged ego is one thing, and hopefully that is all you are experiencing. It can be much more than a broken heart in many cases however. Grief after breakup can take everything out of you if your relationship had been long lasting and this can paralyze you unless you do not face it head on.
The Stages of Grieving After Breakup
Grief after breakup might be going unnoticed by the people who care about you depending on how you are dealing with it. Grief can really hit you hard though and the best thing you can do is decide that you cannot avoid it, it happens after most relationship breakups, and you will get past it in time.
You do want to recognize the basic stages of grief that are fairly normal to us all when you go through a breakup.
- Denial. This just can’t be true and you just know that you and your ex didn’t really break up for good. You have too much invested for this to happen! You are really sure that the two of you will cool off and that in a day or two you will make up and put this behind you. 
- Anger. The shock is wearing off but not the emotions. You are furious with your ex, and angry with yourself. You feel the urge to blame someone for this mess that you are in. You might be thinking in terms of revenge on your ex if you believe the failed relationship is not your fault. Or you might be angry and dissapointed in yourself.
- Lack of motivation, feeling sorry for yourself, and possibly the start of depression. You become preoccupied with reviewing and re-analyzing what has happened to cause the break up. You wonder what you could have done differently to prevent the breakup.
- Fix it at all costs. Can you say or do something that will get you back to where you and your ex had been happy and committed?
- Accepting reality and now able to think more clearly. You might now be able to reconcile your issues and try again, or you may well determine that you are better off without each other.
Do Not Try To Avoid Grief After Your Breakup
The 5 stages of grief after breakup are not much fun at all, but they are important for a good recovery. Avoiding any of the stages purposely will create new problems for you such as buried guilt or regrets. It is most important to face your issues head on and in the process go through all of the stages of grief. Just be sure to not dwell too long in any of the stages so as to avoid getting into a deep depression or losing all touch with reality. You can also hurt other friendships, work relationships, and family relationships if you let the grieving process really take over your life.
Knowing where you currently are in the stages of grief after breakup and understanding what the stages are can be very helpful. You can really learn a lot about yourself once you come out of these stages. You can be stronger and more hopeful as a result, believe it or not. Read more about how to deal with your breakup and come up with a strategy for how to get through all the steps and come out better on the other end. Should you try to get your ex back later? Do you move on without your ex? How soon do you need to figure this out? How do I proceed without making things even worse? There are great resources on this topic and talking with someone you trust and respect is critical especially if you seem to be getting stuck in one of the stages of grief.
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